pills pills pills

11:00 am or so :

I just overdosed on three different types of medicine (over the counter), and some random pills that I dont know what they are, but Im hopeing for a buzz. No prescription. No biggie...
yeah i dont care. Im not taking anything dangerous or anything. I will admit that I usually take a lot though, and mulitple times throughout the day. I like being high all the time. And theres nothing wrong with being high all day. Just spend the day getting high, and when I come down I just go to sleep. Then wake up and get high again. Its a wonderful feeling and its not a bad life. Its my life and I like it. Ive made my decision and I feel good. Not that I feel like I made the right decision, because I probably didnt. But I also dont think I made the wrong decision. I think we all have to make difficult decisions. And now that Ive made mine Im not going back on it. Tonight Im going to get some alcohol and some pills to get a real buzz. But dont worry, im going to be safe. Im not going to be stupid or anything. I know what to do, Ive done it before. I know exactly what pill combination I need, and how much. So yeah todays going to be a good day.

12: 30 ish :

Wow, for anyone thinking about overdosing make sure you eat something. You shouldnt do it on an empty stomach, trust me. I did and I was stupid. My stomach is killing me. Ive tried walking, big mistake. I collasped and just layed there for a little while. Ive got a monster headache, my muscles are acting up on me (theyre not really doing what I want them to do, typing right now is a challenge and it feels awkward.) I feel like Im going to throw up and pass out and im tired. But is was so worth the feeling, and I dont regret it. I just regret not eating. Well anyway Im going to go take some more and sleep it off.

3:29 pm:

Im bored and Im probably going to go start a fire. Yeah I know Im letting the evil side of me out. But I found matches and I havent started a fire in a long time...
So yeah, Im just going to go set some recycling on fire. lol its not like Im going to go set a building on fire, Im not one of those pyros...
Im listening to bad religion right now, awesome band...
I passed out for an hour, woke up, and my stomach still hurts. Still dont regret it though. I took some more pills. My hearts beating very fast. It feels good though, like invigorating almost. I feel like I can do anything and nothing can stop me. I love this feeling. So far todays been good.

8:10 pm ish :

Wow. I think I might have gotten carried away and taken too much. I just kept popping more pills throughout the day thinking just a little bit more...
I probably took to much, no more pills tonight.
Wow my stomachs killing me, I havent overdosed in a long time and forgot how much my body could take. Well at least now I know. I think it was the ibuprofen that did it...

9:4o pm ish

Fuck it, Im taking some more pills. Im addicted to this, Im not going to lie. I just keep taking more and more, all the while telling myself "this is last time, no more today" and then I just go right on and take another handful. Im hopeless. But whatever Im high. Thats all that matters. I like blogging when Im high, even if all I have to say is discouraging Im still so freaking happy. Yeah well... oh well...

4 :00 am ish

lol I took too much and now I cant go to sleep I havent slept at all. Damn it Im sorry matt...